My name is Sandeep Singh. I am nothing more than an ordinary person. I don't even know whether I call myself a person or not. I just know that I am a human being and till some time back I was alive but maybe now I am not alive. Or I can say that I am alive or not, I don't know. I just know that maybe I have died. I am not alive, only my body is alive. I don't know who I am. I don't even try to know who I am. I can't even ask anyone who I am. I don't even know who I am. I don't even know who I am. I don't even know whether I am a human being or not because I don't know both the definition and the meaning of a human being. I don't even know whether I have life or not. I don't know anything. This is the reason why I am not able to believe in myself whether I am alive or dead. My condition is such that I can't say anything about what I am. Whether my life has any meaning or not. Whether my life has any purpose or not. I don't even know in which direction my life is going. I don't even know why I am on earth. I have not found the answer till date. I am wandering everywhere in search of the answer to this question. Why am I alive? What am I for? What is the reason? For whom am I? I don't know anything. My being on earth or not making a difference to anyone. Probably not. It is not that I don't have a family. I have a family, but my being in my family makes a difference to anyone. Probably not. Because I have not done anything for myself. I have not done anything for my family. So what difference does it make if I am there or not? What difference does it make to this world if I am alive or dead? Every day thousands of people die in the world. What difference does it make to anyone if someone lives or dies. It does not matter to the people of the world. My mind is very restless. I want to express myself to the world. I want to disappear from the world. I want to leave this world and go to a world where my mind gets peace. A world where there is only and only peace. There is no noise or sound. There is only and only peace. Where I can sit and contemplate on my questions. I can think about myself whether I am alive or not. Today, if someone asks me if I am alive, then give me proof that I am alive. I also do not know if there is any proof of this. Can a person remain alive by breathing? Can a person remain alive by eating a full meal? Can a person be found out whether a person is alive or dead by wearing clothes or enjoying worldly things? My answer will be no. If all these things show that a person is alive, then I am also alive. But I do not believe this because my body is alive but I am dead and my biggest question is that who am I? When I am already dead, then what is the point of questioning? There are many complications in my life for which I do not have any solution. I am wandering from door to door, I do not know whether I am going somewhere else or my life is going towards death or I have myself died? I have been destroyed or my destruction has begun. I do not know this. I only know that I am dead because my wishes are ending, my aspirations are getting destroyed. I am not able to know myself, who am I? Whether my existence exists on this earth or not. I do not know. I am not able to know myself. This is my biggest weakness and this weakness is haunting me. I am dying every moment. I want to live but I am unable to do so. I want to win over death but death is killing me every moment. I want to do something such that my existence remains on this earth for centuries but I am dying every moment. I neither have any existence nor am I alive.Who is a living person? This question is also very strange, who has the answer to it? People who have life or who are still alive, do not have a clear answer. Those who are dead like me, have only this question; if not the answer, then does anybody have the answer to this question? I have wandered and have given up. I don't know to how many people I have asked this question, but no one has answered. On the contrary, people are considering me a fool, making fun of me, criticizing me, considering me mad. I am not even able to understand whether I am mad or intelligent. Is it right or wrong for me to ask this question? I don't even know whether it is right or wrong to raise this question or to even think about this question. I don't know whether it is right for me to think like this. Well, whatever it is, what difference does it make to me, when I am already dead, what will I do now by knowing this. The biggest fear in human life or should I say in every life is death. There is no fear without death but the reality is that death does not happen. I am alive even after death. I realized this today when I was walking on the road and I tripped over a stone and my leg felt pain. I realized that I am alive because I felt pain. I have read in books that dead people do not feel pain but does pain indicate that a person is alive? I don't feel it because I have accepted that I am dead. Still I feel pain. I feel hungry, thirsty and sleepy. I am stuck in a big confusion. Who will tell me whether I am alive or not? Whom should I ask this question whether I am alive or not? In my eyes, there is no person on this earth who can answer this question. I have no support other than religious scriptures to know this question but the answer to this question is different in different religions. Now which religion's scripture should I consider right and which wrong, this is also a big confusion. So I decided that I will not be able to answer this question by taking the help of religious scriptures. It means that every religion has its own interpretation which does not match with my life, so I stopped taking the help of religious scriptures, but during this time I definitely learned one thing that it is very difficult to carry forward all the religious scriptures written on earth with today's life. To believe those religious scriptures, to understand their rules, to know and to apply them in your life is also very difficult in today's situation. I stopped taking the help of religious scriptures. Now I am left alone. I am sitting alone somewhere and thinking that what should I do? Where will I get the answer to my question? What should I do so that the unsolved mysteries of my life can be known? I can know the questions that are arising within me and search for their answers. I feel that I have not died yet, that is why I want to die. Today is 23 June 2023, it is 11:00 pm. I am all alone at my home. My wife and daughter have gone to their parent's house. I am sitting alone in my house, restless. Looking at the unsolved questions arising within me, looking at the ups and downs in life, I am unable to understand. What should I do now? I thought that I should die because I have not died completely yet. I left my house and reached the nearest railway track. I was walking on the track. I was afraid. I started imagining how much pain I would feel when the train passes over me and if I did not die and my body was damaged, I would remain like a living corpse. At that moment, I realized how terrible death is. If it comes, how much pain life suffers. Perhaps this is called the fear of death. I stood near the railway track. A train passed through the track. I started imagining what I was thinking after seeing it. After some time, I returned to my home from there but all those questions also returned with me. Now my life was sinking into even more darkness. I did not have any ray of light. There was only darkness all around me and I have named this darkness as death because where there is life, there is light, but in my life there is only darkness, that is why I am saying that I have died.